I’ve read that “holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. What happens when you are the other person? I’m speaking of a situation where you are angry with yourself. What happens when you are angry with you? In my experience, this can lead to a debilitating scenario where you give up on yourself or aim lower than your best. It can lead to poor decision making based on guilt, shame, or unworthiness. It can cause you to sabotage your progress. These are just a few of the negative effects of anger and not forgiving yourself or others.
Ok; I have a confession to make. I’ve had to go through anger management classes before. As I sit and reflect on why I was so angry, the situation may have started externally (meaning from something or someone other than myself), but ultimately, it came back to me. It was Gaby Delismé that allowed the situation to anger her and Gaby that acted out in the manner she chose.
How does this relate to finances? Well, we’re getting there. One of my clients is an emotional shopper. Side note: Shoe therapy is not real therapy. Recently, she became angry with her significant other and spent just over $900 in two days on purchases that were not needed nor planned. She then became angry with herself. There are healthy ways to manage anger. Here are 3 tips to help manage anger while focusing on your financial goals:
- Think before you spend. You and your goals will thank you.
- Find solutions that address the true source of the problem.
- Take some time to workout. Exercise is not only good for our bodies, but for our minds as well.
Retail therapy is not therapy. It’s just something we gave ourselves to feel better in that immediate moment. In the long-term, you can’t fool yourself into feeling better simply by adding things to your life. The frustration we feel post-spend, that buyers remorse, is not worth sacrificing your long-term goals. I’ve been there before. When you couple that empty feeling with an astronomical credit card bill, you’re guaranteed to increase your sadness.
You are worthy of forgiveness and of achieving your goals. Chose to win today.